Imagine being diagnosed with an incurable illness, and then being left homeless and penniless by your own family. Well that’s exactly what happened to Sue, a 72 Year old woman from Leicester.

Sue’s story is told by her husband, Bill.

Back in 1980, I moved to Leicester and started my own business, and met a lovely woman called Sue. She was kind and caring with a quiet personality, and in 1983 she became my wife. We bought our shop in 1988 and from here our business grew and grew! Sue became a bookkeeper and I a fitter, turned salesman.

Everything went well until in the early 90’s when Sue was sectioned under the mental health act with Manic Depression and admitted to a psychiatric unit for 14 weeks (compulsory when sectioned). It was an awful place and not where you would want to leave your wife.
Sue went on to suffer six more episodes over the years, now known as Bipolar disorder. There would be a 6-8 week period where her behaviour would deteriorate to the point where she would be up all night: dancing, vacuuming, lights on in every room and TV blaring out. Eventually, she would have to be readmitted for a 5/6 week stay in hospital. This was a recurring cycle that happened every 15-18 months. After discharge, Sue would be very subdued and low in mood and it would take a while for her mood to stabilize. Instead of being the hardworking, outgoing and kind-hearted woman I knew, she became withdrawn and depressed.

Bi-polar affects the way people behave and think, and it leads to irrational actions. Often sufferers will struggle with daily tasks, become very agitated and need watching constantly to ensure their safety. Sue doesn’t make friends easily because of the social stigma attached to mental illness and remains quiet and confused. She will forget or take too much of her medication and has been known to wander off and get lost (in some cases the police have had to bring her home). It was (and still is) difficult to see the woman I love being affected like this and it threw our lives into turmoil. Due to this being an incurable mental illness we had to try and adapt, knowing that this is something we would have to deal with for the rest of our lives.

After being diagnosed, she had to take a step back from the business. Going from being an intelligent, independent women doing the business accounts, to wanting to stay at home, alone all day. She became very reclusive, which affected her mental health even further. Struggling to run a business seven days a week and take care of my wife, also added pressure on me. We knew something had to change and eventually we mutually decided it would be beneficial for her to move in with her son and daughter in law, Stephen and Dawn Page from Loughborough, who happily agreed. Here, she could see her grandchildren who she adored, and would have the company of her family to keep her active.

After moving in to their small, detached home, she became much more settled and her illness was well managed. At first, I worried about her because I knew that Dawn had upset Sue in the past by using underhand comments, but I was always assured by both Stephen and Dawn that everything was going well, and they were all living happily.
I saw Sue at least three times a week and took her out to restaurants and places she enjoyed. She had the best of both worlds: spending time with both me and her family, which really boosted her health and happiness. This was a massive relief to me, knowing my wife was being cared for allowed me to focus on our business, securing the finances for our future.
Sue enjoyed treating her family, she would take them out and treat them to meals, as well as contributing £140 rent a week which was demanded by the daughter in law, Dawn.

The arrangement was going well and Sue’s Bipolar appeared to be less detrimental to her health. She was clearly enjoying living in her new home and spending more time with her beloved grandkids, which kept her mind occupied. She would tell stories about what the grandkids had been up to and how Dawn would sneak off and eat a packet of biscuits, even though she was on a diet! At this time, in agreement with the family, Sue and I decided we would put our house on the market and half of the money from the sale would be added to the sale of her son’s house, in order to buy Sue’s family a new home, with an annex for her to live. This way Sue could have her own space, whilst also being cared for and helped by her son and family; in the knowledge I could visit regularly. We were confident this would help keep her health on track, and mind stimulated.

Sue’s family thought this was a great idea, the arrangement had been working well so far, so we had no reason to believe it wouldn’t carry on this way.
A year later, in 2008, our house had been sold, finances obtained, and Sue’s family moved into what should’ve been the perfect home.

And then the horror began!

As soon as they had the money, Dawns attitude towards Sue changed and she was made to feel unwelcome in her own home. Dawn became verbally abusive, shouting about the rent and encouraging her youngest son to shout at his grandma. She also stopped Sue from using the living room with the rest of the family. Sue was understandably distraught, but it only got worse. She was then stopped from being able to use the washing or drying machine, as well as other restrictions within the house – areas she was not allowed into, excluding her from their family life. Her own son stood by and watched as his wife shouted at his own mother. They didn’t take her bi-polar into consideration or even stop to understand that she may have been confused. Yet whilst all this was going on, Stephen was still using Sue’s car to go to work every day and if he did do anything to repay the favour, or help his mum, Dawn would create an atmosphere for the rest of the day. The annex they’d promised to build never was put into action.

I still visited Sue at least three times a week and despite having some concerns for her welfare, Dawn always reassured me she was doing ok. Sue said the same although most of the time they spoke over her and wouldn’t let her answer. I have since realised that she was scared to speak out.

My concerns for Sue increased and I voiced my concerns every time I visited, but I was always told everything was ok. Then, only four weeks later, the severity of the family’s treatment of Sue finally became clear. Sue was hospitalised again. But this time it was different, it was a voluntary admission and she wasn’t sectioned like before. This was because she was depressed – heartbroken over the betrayal of her own family. She felt abandoned and unloved by the people she doted on, her own son and his wife had caused her distress with their attitude and the verbal abuse she received whilst living with them in their new home. She didn’t want to leave the hospital ward and had to be encouraged to get up out of bed and move around by the nurses. Whilst she was in hospital, her son only visited her once in the five weeks she was there.

When she was released, she was ultimately homeless, as life with her ‘family’ had become so unbearable for her. She stayed in sheltered accommodation for a while as this choice seemed better, with other people to talk to and interact with during the day whilst I was still working long hours at our shop.
However, she couldn’t settle and remained depressed so we decided she would move back in with me. Only now our old home had been sold, our new rented house was smaller and unfamiliar to her, and I was back to struggling to look after her and run the business at the same time.

We’d achieved nothing. We were back in the same situation as before, only now we were £150,000 out of pocket, with a smaller home to live in and Sue’s health even worse than ever. Her depression continued and she didn’t leave the house for months. She was alone all day, with no visitors now her family had abandoned her. But I still had to work, I couldn’t leave the business as this was our only source of income, how would I pay for my wife’s care?
Although she was happy to be back with me and out of the sheltered accommodation, she was still heartbroken and couldn’t understand why her family had left her. And I just couldn’t understand how her own family could abandon such a vulnerable person, especially in her time of need. Personally, I don’t know how they look themselves in the mirror with all this on their conscience.

Over the years, they have moved from bigger house to even bigger house with still no offer to pay any of the money back, even though Sue is no longer living there. They are happily living in a half a million-pound house, in an affluent area with a brand-new family car bought only last year! Yet they still cannot offer to reimburse Sue and I for the money they took deceitfully to help to care for their elderly, vulnerable mother!
Now, 12 years later, her so-called family have still not provided any explanation as to why they did such a malicious thing. They’ve never offered to reimburse the money for the house, a house which was supposed to secure my wife’s future happiness, yet she only spent a couple of weeks in it! They stopped her seeing her grandkids, so she has missed out on them growing up, which upsets her deeply.  

My wife is still suffering from bi-polar and will be on medication for the rest of her life. She has visits from carers three times a week to take her out and provide company. I live with an unbelievable amount of stress which has increased over the years. All I’ve ever done is try to protect and provide for my wife after her own family have let her down, stolen from her and hurt her in the worst way a family could do.

For years I have not spoken out as my wife was worried that it would make matters worse, and that her daughter in law would stop her seeing her grandchildren altogether. However, she has not seen them in years anyway, so she has nothing to lose. Her health is only getting worse with age as she lives with the knowledge of what her family have done to her. Now we desperately need the money back to secure Sue’s future in the event anything should happen to me. Our house is only rented, and Sue should be enjoying her retirement!

Sue says: “When I moved into the first house, I was very happy. I enjoyed being with my son and grandkids. It gave me more motivation go out and find new hobbies, and I ended up working in three different charity shops because I enjoyed it so much. I got to meet a lot of people and found it kept my mind occupied and I felt happy. Bill and I sold our home to help my son pay for a bigger house so I could live there with them. Then, when we moved to the second house, my daughter in law changed towards me. I wasn’t allowed in certain areas of the house and instead of watching TV with my grandkids, I was told sit in the corner and read. I lost my freedom, and the happiness I originally had started to disappear. I became very depressed and was forced to move out of the house for the sake of my health. Within weeks, my depression got so bad that I admitted myself back into hospital. I stopped working at the charity shops and lost the social life I’d built up as I no longer had the motivation to get up in the morning.”